Free To Good Home*

One 3 year old male child. He's very cute and potty trained. This three year old loves affection and is very creative in his play and speech. He also has great hair. He lives for clean houses in which to destroy. If you have a back yard with lots of dirt, that would be preferred. I must warn you: You should live outside city limits without noise ordinances. Alerting CPS of his screaming fits might save them a few trips when the neighbors grow concerned. Some hearing loss might occur to those around him. When provoked he will throw his shoes at the back of your head in the car with remarkable aim. He demands attention, lots of attention, along with Aquaphor by the case. Interests include cats, lizards, slugs, Lego's, and worms. You should be willing to adapt your schedule around all his needs and tiptoeing around potential meltdowns will be a learned trait.

I will also include several hundred dollars worth of parenting books for no extra charge. They aren't helpful, but make you look really smart in a library. Included is a picture that makes him worth all the effort:


*you must return him after 3 days to his mama who can't live without him. She just needs a break.

Culture Class

Cole's school schedule is rather unique for a kindergartner. They have a separate Spanish class every morning. Side note: I find it odd they teach Spanish in Korea but what do I know. They have class time, station time (play with toys time), lunch, recess and a separate "special" class. The special class rotates between Art, Music, PE, Library, and Culture Class.

I'm not sure what they do in Culture Class, but it soon became my most dreaded day. It appears a Korean teacher teaches them about "Korean Stuff" according to Cole. Then this teacher hands out Culture coins to students doing good work. These coins are small pieces of cardboard. They are thin, cheap, and flimsy. Every 5 year old's obsession. There's no rhyme or reason to getting a coin, nor does the teacher make sure everyone gets a coin.

Poor Cole would come home upset and angry after every dang Culture Class Day. He wanted a coin so badly. He tried his best in class and he still never got one. So I became one of those parents. I marched straight into the school and brought this up to Dr. Stapleford. Dr. Stapleford does not believe in that sort of reward system and doesn't practice that in his class. Culture teacher can. I guess he has no reign over Mr. Culture Teacher.

There's obvious favorites who get them each week and those quieter children (with darker sandy hair) that don't. Cole had never gotten a coin.... that is until yesterday! Whew! I can't believe the fuss over a dang piece of paper, but he worked hard for it and LOVES it.

Congratulations Cole! I'm so happy for your culture coin experience. I still hate Culture Class day..... and library day when he brings home a book I NEVER would pick out. Then he expects me to read it to him... ugh. Sometimes the use of their own free will drives me batty. But that's a whole other counseling session ;-)

The Watcher & Astronaut

Brad - Dad, I like to watch movies

Keith - you do?

Brad - Yes, I'm a good watcher.


He also wants to be an ass-er-not (astronaut) when he grows up. Cutie pie.

I have decided that Cole can never leave. He's turned into quite the Brad-Whisperer. Cole is such a great big brother. He's supportive and understanding. I love to hear Cole praise Brad for his attempts at trying new things. They are the best of buds. These two still sleep together and play well together. Brad is protective of Cole's lego designs. I'm not allowed to clean them up or break a "ship" he made. I often think that I know those boys better than anyone else on this earth, but I'm wrong. They know each other the best. Peas in a Pod.

God Bless Ms. Betty

So Brad started seeing the family and child counselor last week as recommended by the pediatrician here. I forget her real title, it's long. Wait, found it, she's the Child and Youth Behavioral Military & Family Live Consultant (CYB-MFLC) She's the middle guy when it comes to finding out if he should be sent off to specialist. Like if she suggested a hearing test, or a learning disability test, further allergy tests, or autistic testing... I was really torn to take him. I didn't want to look for a problem, but to really look for answers. I need to help Brad, to prepare him for next year and the rest of his life. At times I feel like the problems are just "played" on mommy and daddy, then other times my heart breaks when I see that he truly doesn't "get" things.

Ms Betty is so wonderful. Our first meeting was with Keith, Brad and me. She just wanted to get to know him and for him to open up. They played together and colored. She was able to draw happy/sad/mad/scared faces and asked him questions as they colored. We also talked about some of the quirks that make Brad, Brad.

Our next meeting was just myself. I sat with Ms. Betty and talked about Brad, his fits, his obsessions, his temper, his strong will, his communication. We covered alot. She gets that things are a tad off "typical". She sees that his extreme strong will is going to be an issue especially next year in pre-K. We talked about his behavior and actions in gymnastics. We talked about his ability (or lack there of) to follow a 2 step command. Ms. Betty said that she would meet with him weekly during the rest of out time here. If only for exposure to listening to other adults and their instructions. She sees the behavioral problems. Could there be a slight learning disability, OCD issues? Maybe, but we need to tackle behavior first.

Yesterday she made Brad a book Ben Stops Screaming and Learns to Ask for Help. It is really precious. She incorporated some of Brad's issues as Ben. Ben learns the correct way to stop his fits, and ask for help. Ben learns that big boys get rewarded with things Brad likes back scratches and stickers. Ben learns that his fits keep him from doing fun things like art class when they can't get out the door in time. Ms. Betty made it very personable for Brad. Ben also has a cuddle blanket to help him calm down. Last night we went and bought Brad a super soft blanket. Yesterday was a bad day for Brad so we were able to put the blanket into action right away. So far it works!!!

We go back next week. Thank you Ms. Betty for truly understanding Brad. She gets that he is high strung. She sees that he holds it together for friends and family and then melts down (nice for self implodes) for us/me. She wants to help Brad express himself in positive ways. She wants Brad to keep his passion for what he likes, but also be able to pay attention to the world around him. She wants to help me be the mommy he needs. So often I feel like I've created a monster. I don't want people to experience the monster Brad. I want people to see Brad for all the positive characteristics he has.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check with TMO to see about shipping Ms. Betty back with us.

EVEN!

Cole has started a new phase. It's saying "even" all the time. It's used a number of different ways.

Brad - I want to watch Ninja Turtles.
Cole - EVEN! I don't, they give me bad dreams

Me - Cole, pick up your legos
Cole - EVEN! Brad made the mess

Keith - Dinner time!
Cole - EVEN! I don't like that.

Cole - The weather is so good outside, EVEN!

And then when he's just mad if Brad took a toy we just get the simple "EVEN!"

It makes me laugh in a "sic" "whatever" "shyaaa!" kind of way.

Not for Vegetarians

Cole balled up his fist and pumped it in the air while asking "You want a piece of meat?" Ha! Instead of "you want a piece of me" like looking for a fight! He cracks me up. It's now our favorite household saying.

How can you live your whole life and then a kid comes along and makes things funnier? Example: We had Merlin for 6 years, always Merlin. Cole learns to talk and Mer Mer is born.

Honor Roll

I had a parent teacher conference yesterday. Even though Cole is in a pubic school, it's still in the DOD's system. Everything has to be politically correct. They are not allowed to issues report cards with actual grades on them till the 4th grade. It could be damaging to their development. Instead they focus on behavior.

To quote: "Cole is what every teacher loves" "He should never have any trouble academically" "He's an independent worker who follows the rules" "He never needs much redirection, he can stay focused on task" "He is a very quiet boy who is not afraid to contribute when asked"

So, it sounds like he's doing very well in class. It's so wonderful to be nice and relaxed walking into the meeting. I wasn't apprehensive about issues or problems. We've cleared up all our "mishaps" earlier this year.

I still don't LOVE it like I did Protestant Preschool or Children's House, but I know Cole can make the best of any situation. A true military brat.