Stepping Backwards

My sweet B. If I could form the perfect words to describe my second born, I would. I would convey his tender heart, and charming smile. You would need to know about his creative sense of humor and his affection for dirt, bugs, and movies on repeat. Did I mention his charm and ability to win over everyone? He can be so tender and loving. He will do or say something daily that will shock you, make you laugh, and make you cry. He holds my heart. Mama Bear will fiercely protect this kid all his life.

We saw a behavioral specialist a few months ago. Ms Betty left us in December and really helped us out learning new ways to parent Brad and to help him when he gets incredibly frustrated. We've had our ups and downs, but nothing like it use to be.... until last Friday.

It was by far his worst day ever. If it was caught on video you would still never believe it. We would have been the season finale 3 hour episode of Nanny 911. For the life of me, if I knew his triggers I would do everything in the world to prevent it from happening again. Something set him off and his brain went into lock down mode. He threw a 40 minute temper tantrum outside by the front gate on base. He had an audience and looking back if we were in America the cops would have been there in a heartbeat. I couldn't hold him, put him in the car, comfort him. He hit the walls, kicked the bike racks, punched the signs, laid in the parking lot, paced, and threw rocks all while screaming death screams of "I want to go home". He thought he left his glow in the dark dinosaur at home when in fact it was in the car. But you couldn't tell him that because he was shut off. He wouldn't look, listen, or understand. It's more than a fit or an act of terrible twos even though we're approaching four. When you physically see it you can tell it's not the same. My mom said I should have taken him right to the ER. Maybe we should have, but we couldn't control him enough to get him the 1/2 mile down the road.

After 40 minutes, I finally was able to get him back in the car. But the rest of the day was horrible. We tried to do fun family things, but Brad's fits continued over one thing and another. Maybe we should have gone home, but where do we draw the line? Does the 3 year old dictate what we do together as a family when the weather is nice and Daddy has the day off? It was a hard mommy day, and I can only imagine how hard it was for Brad. So frustrated and mad at everything.

So for my own personal record, I'm jotting down what I noticed:
He kinda had a crappy breakfast (poptarts - sorry, I can count on one hand how many boxes I've bought for them). I know he's had strong reactions to large doses of sugar in the past, but I don't think poptarts alone would set him this far over the edge. His eczema wasn't flared up. He got an ok amount of sleep, but he's always the last to bed, first to rise. He was able to pick out his clothes and "toys" for his backpack. Nothing was bothering him (socks, shoes, jeans)

We're just at a loss. As a parent you just want to fix it. I just want to explain it to him, but during these fits NOTHING sinks in. You can't tell him/show him/explain to him anything. It's like talking to a wall. We just wait it out trying to keep him from hurting himself. I don't understand it. The best explanation we were given is it's a mixture of sensory and stress. At his age he can not understand nor express stress, but kids can sure feel it. And given what's been going on, who wouldn't be stressed? The kid has moved 3 times in 4 years, left all his "stuff"/pets/people he loves, lives in a foreign country without a lot of time with peers in his age group, visitors come and go, and we're telling him we're moving again. So his cry might be over a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur, but he's releasing EVERYTHING. (isn't Ms Betty so smart. I miss her)

So... what's a kid wired like this to do when you're a military brat? I haven't figured it out yet. The two margaritas at dinner helped me... next time I might share with Brad.