Venus vs Mars

Let me take you back.... A long time ago my husband was deployed. I had to wear many hats and do many things that I feel are "his" job. One of which was to teach my son to wipe his bottom. I don't why, but my line of thinking was well indented. Boys are different so he should do it different than I know. He should be wiping from back to front. I taught my young student and he quickly caught on. He was wiping his own rear and that was one less chore I had to worry about.

Then Daddy came home. He saw one look at Cole's accomplishment and screamed "STOP!" That's not how we do it! Daddy informed us all that it was wrong. Do it that way and you'll get poop all over your balls. (ps, if you know Keith you would not be surprised or offended by that statement) Cole being the good listener did just that. He stopped. He stopped wiping his own rear for a year and counting. Cole always would say "when I turn six I will wipe myself." Well, that day came and went. Cole still was refusing to wipe his hinney. I ever so nicely told my husband that he broke it - he's in charge of fixing it. After two days he informed me that the problem was solved.

Today I found out the problem was NOT solved. Cole went over to a friend's house to play after school. He felt... a need... and asked the mother where the bathroom was. He's been over there before, but she graciously pointed it out again. Then Cole asks "but where's the seat thing?" "What seat thing Cole?" This mom said "Do you need a protector?" as she started to put toilet paper on the seat. "No, the seat thing when you wipe" The mom "like toilet paper? How do you do it at school?...Um... do you mean the wet wipes? "NO, the seat thing and I don't go at school!" As this point she sees the panic set into his eyes as she tells him that she doesn't think she has what he's talking about.

As the mother was telling me this story I was torn do to all three things at once (A) call my husband to gripe his head off. It seems he taught Cole to use the bidet. What an easy way out! Daddy the teacher solved the problem by showing him the correct button to push. (B) cry a little bit because my poor son holds it all day because he still doesn't know how to wipe. And (C) laugh at the slightly funny situation my friend found herself in and my poor Cole's face of panic. And the fact that my son uses.a.bidet.

((((SIGH)))) I guess I better put on my jack of all trades hat and teach my son what to do when he's stuck in the wilderness without a bidet. Keith.... you make me laugh.