Fired

Ever have one of those World's Worse Mom days? Today could have been one. I was having trouble going to bed last night so thought it would be a good idea to watch Desperate Housewives to ease my mind. Didn't work. It was so hard to get up this morning so I didn't. I turned off the alarm and Cole missed the bus. It just so turns out MOPS was today. I got us all dress and dropped Cole off at school before a nice 3 hour mommy break. You know, a break from all the sleeping in and tv watching. I walked into the school and noticed something was so strange. All these kids were wearing green - head to toe, except for mine. Opps. It seems I forgot it was St. Patrick's Day. To make matters worse I accidentally dressed in green so it appeared as if I was just looking after Team Me. Nice one.

I spent the better part of the morning listening to supermom's talking about how they all picked out their green clothes and had Lucky Charms for breakfast. Sorry boys. The topic at MOPS was "playing with your kids" and how much time you physically play with your children instead of cleaning, or cooking... (or searching the MLS listings for new houses in Wichita Falls). Reminders of how quickly time passes and the chores will always be there. I must admit there was another scoop on mommy guilt.

As if that wasn't enough - something happened today that threw me into a panic. The fear of my baby growing up. It started out innocent enough, Cole went to Robbie's house to play after school. After an hour his mom calls me and asks if Cole can stay for dinner and then go to AWANA's with them. I can hear him begging in the background. She would return him home close to 8pm. I didn't want to say yes, but had to. My baby would be gone all day long and he wanted it that way. I would get to see him for 20 minutes before bed. That wasn't enough time! How did that happen? I wanted to call back and say I changed my mind, but knew Cole would be so upset. I guess God was easing me into this transition because it started snowing and AWANA's was canceled. Whew. Cole came home earlier than expected. I was able to ask him a million questions he refused to answer and put him to bed. Brad missed him more than I did.

I don't know how Keith does it. He leaves for days/weeks/months at a time without seeing his boys. I guess because of the military lifestyle I've been the only option for so long. Just me and the boys. It's been nice and I swear I wouldn't change a thing. Other then forgetting to dress them in green and spending a little less time on this crazy internet.

Today was my warning. I'm about to be fired from my job. He's needing me less and less. Overall it is my goal right? To raise them so I'm out of work - so he doesn't need me to clean up after him, cook, or wash his clothes. I'm suppose to make sure he can work and think for himself. I've got to teach him life lessons hoping he applies them to his everyday living. Cole is well on his way. Brad might learn everything but I'm fairly certain he'll keep me employed longer. Just cause he likes it.