So Brad started seeing the family and child counselor last week as recommended by the pediatrician here. I forget her real title, it's long. Wait, found it, she's the Child and Youth Behavioral Military & Family Live Consultant (CYB-MFLC) She's the middle guy when it comes to finding out if he should be sent off to specialist. Like if she suggested a hearing test, or a learning disability test, further allergy tests, or autistic testing... I was really torn to take him. I didn't want to look for a problem, but to really look for answers. I need to help Brad, to prepare him for next year and the rest of his life. At times I feel like the problems are just "played" on mommy and daddy, then other times my heart breaks when I see that he truly doesn't "get" things.
Ms Betty is so wonderful. Our first meeting was with Keith, Brad and me. She just wanted to get to know him and for him to open up. They played together and colored. She was able to draw happy/sad/mad/scared faces and asked him questions as they colored. We also talked about some of the quirks that make Brad, Brad.
Our next meeting was just myself. I sat with Ms. Betty and talked about Brad, his fits, his obsessions, his temper, his strong will, his communication. We covered alot. She gets that things are a tad off "typical". She sees that his extreme strong will is going to be an issue especially next year in pre-K. We talked about his behavior and actions in gymnastics. We talked about his ability (or lack there of) to follow a 2 step command. Ms. Betty said that she would meet with him weekly during the rest of out time here. If only for exposure to listening to other adults and their instructions. She sees the behavioral problems. Could there be a slight learning disability, OCD issues? Maybe, but we need to tackle behavior first.
Yesterday she made Brad a book Ben Stops Screaming and Learns to Ask for Help. It is really precious. She incorporated some of Brad's issues as Ben. Ben learns the correct way to stop his fits, and ask for help. Ben learns that big boys get rewarded with things Brad likes back scratches and stickers. Ben learns that his fits keep him from doing fun things like art class when they can't get out the door in time. Ms. Betty made it very personable for Brad. Ben also has a cuddle blanket to help him calm down. Last night we went and bought Brad a super soft blanket. Yesterday was a bad day for Brad so we were able to put the blanket into action right away. So far it works!!!
We go back next week. Thank you Ms. Betty for truly understanding Brad. She gets that he is high strung. She sees that he holds it together for friends and family and then melts down (nice for self implodes) for us/me. She wants to help Brad express himself in positive ways. She wants Brad to keep his passion for what he likes, but also be able to pay attention to the world around him. She wants to help me be the mommy he needs. So often I feel like I've created a monster. I don't want people to experience the monster Brad. I want people to see Brad for all the positive characteristics he has.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check with TMO to see about shipping Ms. Betty back with us.
Friday, November 13, 2009
EVEN!
Cole has started a new phase. It's saying "even" all the time. It's used a number of different ways.
Brad - I want to watch Ninja Turtles.
Cole - EVEN! I don't, they give me bad dreams
Me - Cole, pick up your legos
Cole - EVEN! Brad made the mess
Keith - Dinner time!
Cole - EVEN! I don't like that.
Cole - The weather is so good outside, EVEN!
And then when he's just mad if Brad took a toy we just get the simple "EVEN!"
It makes me laugh in a "sic" "whatever" "shyaaa!" kind of way.
Brad - I want to watch Ninja Turtles.
Cole - EVEN! I don't, they give me bad dreams
Me - Cole, pick up your legos
Cole - EVEN! Brad made the mess
Keith - Dinner time!
Cole - EVEN! I don't like that.
Cole - The weather is so good outside, EVEN!
And then when he's just mad if Brad took a toy we just get the simple "EVEN!"
It makes me laugh in a "sic" "whatever" "shyaaa!" kind of way.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Not for Vegetarians
Cole balled up his fist and pumped it in the air while asking "You want a piece of meat?" Ha! Instead of "you want a piece of me" like looking for a fight! He cracks me up. It's now our favorite household saying.
How can you live your whole life and then a kid comes along and makes things funnier? Example: We had Merlin for 6 years, always Merlin. Cole learns to talk and Mer Mer is born.
How can you live your whole life and then a kid comes along and makes things funnier? Example: We had Merlin for 6 years, always Merlin. Cole learns to talk and Mer Mer is born.
Honor Roll
I had a parent teacher conference yesterday. Even though Cole is in a pubic school, it's still in the DOD's system. Everything has to be politically correct. They are not allowed to issues report cards with actual grades on them till the 4th grade. It could be damaging to their development. Instead they focus on behavior.
To quote: "Cole is what every teacher loves" "He should never have any trouble academically" "He's an independent worker who follows the rules" "He never needs much redirection, he can stay focused on task" "He is a very quiet boy who is not afraid to contribute when asked"
So, it sounds like he's doing very well in class. It's so wonderful to be nice and relaxed walking into the meeting. I wasn't apprehensive about issues or problems. We've cleared up all our "mishaps" earlier this year.
I still don't LOVE it like I did Protestant Preschool or Children's House, but I know Cole can make the best of any situation. A true military brat.
To quote: "Cole is what every teacher loves" "He should never have any trouble academically" "He's an independent worker who follows the rules" "He never needs much redirection, he can stay focused on task" "He is a very quiet boy who is not afraid to contribute when asked"
So, it sounds like he's doing very well in class. It's so wonderful to be nice and relaxed walking into the meeting. I wasn't apprehensive about issues or problems. We've cleared up all our "mishaps" earlier this year.
I still don't LOVE it like I did Protestant Preschool or Children's House, but I know Cole can make the best of any situation. A true military brat.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Our Hero
I was totally NOT excited for Cole's birthday party. The packages didn't arrive. I tried to be all calm and collected about it at first. Then I resorted to checking the mail twice a day, hounding the post office to look for lost packages. I ordered everything from Oriental trading. EVERYTHING. The party favors, the plates, cups, forks, table cloths, game ideas and even our Halloween candy were MIA and I was left to come up with a plan B. Not an easy task given our BX. Cole's Star Wars costume didn't even arrive for his party. How do you tell all his friends to wear their costumes and the birthday boy is stuck in his birthday suit? Kinda. I was upset things were not going as I planned them and thought this will just be a disaster.
Dat-Da-Dat-Taaaa! In flew Mr. Steve to the rescue! Keith was working nights, but Steve came in for a visit. Mr. Steve was pumped about this party for Cole and wanted to help me out. I felt bad for tasking him with making silly death stars out of chopsticks (instead of ordered Popsicle sticks) I couldn't get them to stay, but he kept trying and finally figured out a pattern! Then he made about 30 of them with no less than 150 chopsticks.
Next up, Balloons. One of the games was to find princess Leia hidden inside a balloon. I bought one dinky hand pump and thought we could use the battery operated pump we have for the air mattress. Yea, that didn't work. Mr. Steve didn't mind. He blew up no less than 60 balloons while I tied them.
Onto the cake. My storm trooper helmets were a total flop (see previous post) I had to rely on PW to pull me though with her chocolate sheet cake. I bought a 405 piece Star Wars Lego set that Mr. Steve painstakingly put together for the cake topper.
Not only was he a great help - he was excited about this party. He kept rattling off other ideas we could do. He wanted to decorate the door and tape character faces all over the floor. Mr. Steve measured and cut out fabric for the Jedi costumes. It was even his idea for Cole to be in a different color and to hang them ready to go! He was on a roll!! He thought all the kids should have light sabers (again, they were in the shipment) so he wrapped foil blocks for the kids to use.
The next morning he helped us clean and set up. He couldn't stay because the bus was leaving to take him back. We had to say goodbye - again. Horrible. I miss my friends. I know it's only a see you later, but being apart was never in my Air Force Plan. It's time for him to GO HOME! He misses his girls. Ashley, you should tap into this hidden talent! Brooke is going to have the best parties! Thank you Mr. Steve. The party wouldn't have been much fun without all your help!
Dat-Da-Dat-Taaaa! In flew Mr. Steve to the rescue! Keith was working nights, but Steve came in for a visit. Mr. Steve was pumped about this party for Cole and wanted to help me out. I felt bad for tasking him with making silly death stars out of chopsticks (instead of ordered Popsicle sticks) I couldn't get them to stay, but he kept trying and finally figured out a pattern! Then he made about 30 of them with no less than 150 chopsticks.
Next up, Balloons. One of the games was to find princess Leia hidden inside a balloon. I bought one dinky hand pump and thought we could use the battery operated pump we have for the air mattress. Yea, that didn't work. Mr. Steve didn't mind. He blew up no less than 60 balloons while I tied them.
Onto the cake. My storm trooper helmets were a total flop (see previous post) I had to rely on PW to pull me though with her chocolate sheet cake. I bought a 405 piece Star Wars Lego set that Mr. Steve painstakingly put together for the cake topper.
Not only was he a great help - he was excited about this party. He kept rattling off other ideas we could do. He wanted to decorate the door and tape character faces all over the floor. Mr. Steve measured and cut out fabric for the Jedi costumes. It was even his idea for Cole to be in a different color and to hang them ready to go! He was on a roll!! He thought all the kids should have light sabers (again, they were in the shipment) so he wrapped foil blocks for the kids to use.
The next morning he helped us clean and set up. He couldn't stay because the bus was leaving to take him back. We had to say goodbye - again. Horrible. I miss my friends. I know it's only a see you later, but being apart was never in my Air Force Plan. It's time for him to GO HOME! He misses his girls. Ashley, you should tap into this hidden talent! Brooke is going to have the best parties! Thank you Mr. Steve. The party wouldn't have been much fun without all your help!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Square One
Several weeks ago I took Brad in for a food allergy test. His eczema has gotten worse and his fits are out of control. Keith and I are at a loss. We thought if there was a slight allergy to a food we could rule it out then life could be a little more even keeled around here. Keith had allergies growing up. His parents swear after he started allergy shots he became a different kid behaviorally. Great - Sign Brad up!
They did a blood draw and tested him for just about all they can. Every kind of nut under the sun, every fish/shellfish, wheat, eggs, milk, dog dander, cat dander......
My mommy gut thought he had a slight allergy to milk. Boy was I ever right. High levels of antibodies in the blood indicate a food allergy. If it measures >.35% he is considered NOT allergic. Well, my mommy sense was right on, his milk allergy was a whopping .38%. The Dr. even went as far to say that he would almost consider that lab error vs any type of allergy we need to be concerned with. While I am thankful he isn't allergic, because I have seen a precious boy with many allergies firsthand, we are back to square one.
Why can't I put my finger on his skin condition. We have moved/lived in 4 VERY different climates during his little life (NC, ID, TX, and Korea) No improvement. It's not like we're running from Oak trees or high pollen. We've changed and noted laundry detergents, using the most sensitive soaps, lathering on Aquaphor 2 times a day with prescription creams - and Aquaphor ain't cheap ya'll! Short baths - check, Humidifier - check. His skin right now is broken out, bloody tops, and red. I'm so afraid he'll scar himself with his constant itching.
He's miserable and in turn has a miserable temper to go along with it. Why should he be a peaceful kid when his skin is raging under his clothes? Would you sleep through the night if you itched in your sleep? He's 3, his skin is reacting to something all the time, he can't sit still, he can't be reasoned with, he's not getting a full nights sleep...... All these little things are adding up to HUGE breakdowns. Must figure this out to insure he makes it to his 4th birthday.
They did a blood draw and tested him for just about all they can. Every kind of nut under the sun, every fish/shellfish, wheat, eggs, milk, dog dander, cat dander......
My mommy gut thought he had a slight allergy to milk. Boy was I ever right. High levels of antibodies in the blood indicate a food allergy. If it measures >.35% he is considered NOT allergic. Well, my mommy sense was right on, his milk allergy was a whopping .38%. The Dr. even went as far to say that he would almost consider that lab error vs any type of allergy we need to be concerned with. While I am thankful he isn't allergic, because I have seen a precious boy with many allergies firsthand, we are back to square one.
Why can't I put my finger on his skin condition. We have moved/lived in 4 VERY different climates during his little life (NC, ID, TX, and Korea) No improvement. It's not like we're running from Oak trees or high pollen. We've changed and noted laundry detergents, using the most sensitive soaps, lathering on Aquaphor 2 times a day with prescription creams - and Aquaphor ain't cheap ya'll! Short baths - check, Humidifier - check. His skin right now is broken out, bloody tops, and red. I'm so afraid he'll scar himself with his constant itching.
He's miserable and in turn has a miserable temper to go along with it. Why should he be a peaceful kid when his skin is raging under his clothes? Would you sleep through the night if you itched in your sleep? He's 3, his skin is reacting to something all the time, he can't sit still, he can't be reasoned with, he's not getting a full nights sleep...... All these little things are adding up to HUGE breakdowns. Must figure this out to insure he makes it to his 4th birthday.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Wreckerator
I'm trying to plan out Cole's birthday party. I am feeling slightly guilty since I haven't "planned" a party for him since he was 3. In Mountain Home we just hung out with our super close friends and enjoyed cake. This year he wants a party. Since we're in Korea, there aren't a whole lot of choices. You could have your party at the community center or the bowling alley. We've been here 2.5 months and have been to 3 parties at those places.
Totally thinking outside the "norm" here - we're having a small party at the house! I ordered all the stuff to later find out that Oriental Trading always arrives a MONTH after they promise. Lovely. I researched Star Wars themed parties and the games to play. I love the internet. It totally allows me to seem in-the-know with those silly movies and super creative too. My next big hurdle was the birthday cake. A girlfriend gave me an idea: Cakeballs, but shape them to look like stormtrooper helmets. Genius! Can't you just imagine these:
looking like these:
I can! I set out this evening to do a trial run. I wanted to make sure I could shape them and draw the designs. Piece of cake (hahaha)
Not really. Who would have thought the hardest part would be melting the chocolate? It was. And let me tell you. If you can't even melt chocolate, you could wind up with something like this:
So, desperation lead to using a pastry brush to apply a coat of white chocolate. It's only going downhill from here.
In order to prove I tried with all my might, please take note of my finished product:
It can't be a true cake wreck since I'm not a professional, but this is definitely NOT what I had pictured in my head. Erin, you were SO right ;-) I'm ordering a cake in the morning.
Totally thinking outside the "norm" here - we're having a small party at the house! I ordered all the stuff to later find out that Oriental Trading always arrives a MONTH after they promise. Lovely. I researched Star Wars themed parties and the games to play. I love the internet. It totally allows me to seem in-the-know with those silly movies and super creative too. My next big hurdle was the birthday cake. A girlfriend gave me an idea: Cakeballs, but shape them to look like stormtrooper helmets. Genius! Can't you just imagine these:
looking like these:
I can! I set out this evening to do a trial run. I wanted to make sure I could shape them and draw the designs. Piece of cake (hahaha)
Not really. Who would have thought the hardest part would be melting the chocolate? It was. And let me tell you. If you can't even melt chocolate, you could wind up with something like this:
So, desperation lead to using a pastry brush to apply a coat of white chocolate. It's only going downhill from here.
In order to prove I tried with all my might, please take note of my finished product:
It can't be a true cake wreck since I'm not a professional, but this is definitely NOT what I had pictured in my head. Erin, you were SO right ;-) I'm ordering a cake in the morning.
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