Speaking of Sad Days..

Here's a life lesson boys, I just posted about how non-emotional I usually am, and it reminded me of another emotional moment. That might sound crazy to you and not make sense - just get use to it. That's all I have to say when it comes to understanding females. Get use to it.

A couple months ago, I had to get ready for one of Daddy's work events. It was Luau themed - in the cold cold winter. I'm digging through my closet to find something "beachy" and I come across this white shirt. I hold it up and notice a big yellow stain on it. I think "disgusting, armpit stain!" Upon further inspection, the stain is on the shoulder. I realize it's Brad's spit up stain. As crazy as this sounds, I immediately hold it up to my nose. I wanted to smell that baby smell, the sweet smell of breast milk spit-up. I wanted a smell to take be back and it wasn't there. It was just a stain on a shirt. I start crying. Hard. I'm standing half dressed in my closet holding a stained shirt that only smells like Tide. Sad Day.

I have a book titled Let Me Hold You Longer. It's a precious book talking about celebrating the firsts in a child's life, but you never know their lasts.... last time to give them a bottle, last time they call for you in the middle of the night, last time they draw a picture for the fridge... it takes you all the way through high school graduation. <> I can't read through that book without tears. As much as I love the ages you are at and seeing the men you will become, I miss my babies. I miss every sleep deprived, bottle washing, burp cloth soaked moment. I miss the screaming, the baby hicups, the light in the eyes of a new discovery, the messes, and the blowout diapers. I miss packing diapers bags with EVERYTHING - the nail clippers, extra outfits, toys, blankets, snacks, sunscreen, hats, and gas drops - just to run to the store. That's what mommies do.

I was pregnant with Brad when Cole was this age. It's hard to think I'm not in the same position. It's difficult to wonder if another baby is in our future. It's so hard to look at those baby clothes and think they will never be filled again. I won't have to wash them, or treat them for stains. I won't have to struggle to button them in the dark of night. I won't have to sort through the bins, or pack them up again. Heartbreaking. So do I miss my boys being babies or do I want more children? Hard to tell. I will be praying God's will upon our family. Praying I will be able to see and accept if the answer is no. Until then, I don't want to miss the boys growing up, not one single thing.

Sad Day for Mommy

I don't think I'm an emotional girl. I don't cry at the drop of a hat, I am pretty level headed when it comes to maintaining composure. But, I'll be the first to admit... I really don't like packing away baby clothes that don't fit anymore. The first time I had to do it with Cole, when he grew out of his newborn stuff into 3-6 month clothes.... horrible!!! It was the hardest day of my mommy life. Sufficed to say, it hasn't gotten any easier for me.

Brad has moved into a new size, so on Sunday we pulled all the small clothes and headed down to the 8 storage bins in the garage. I'm crying as I go through the newborn sleepers, my favorite outfits. I hold everything up to my nose to try to smell any baby left in them - nothing. That makes me cry more. As we pack the 18 month stuff up, I was looking for all the 2T-3T clothes. I found about 7 shirts... where is everything??? Later that night I sift through Cole's drawers and guess what I find - 2T stuff!!! Cole still has 2T stuff in his drawers and closets. What happened? Where are my babies? Brad can easily wear 3T shirts... I'm not kidding, Cole wore these last summer.

This past weekend at the dr's I learned Cole is 36 pounds fully dressed. Brad is 27.5 without shoes. Little Brother is catching up. Watch out Cole!

I'm Not That Cool Of A Mom

Sitting in the dr. office, I make a small bribe with Cole.

Me: If you're good, I have a surprise for you at home.
Cole: What is it?! Is it candy?
Me: Nope
Cole: Is it balloons?
Me: Nope
Cole: Is it cheerleaders?

O.P.P.

So funny - when I was a teen, OPP meant something totally different. I think I still know all the words to that song (how embarrassing) Last weekend the boys got their OPP = Own Personal Park. We bought the boys a huge swing set and they love it! Cole refers to it as his park. They have been spending so much time outside and Keith thought it would be a great investment to my sanity this summer. He was right.

Poor Daddy. We thought we could knock out construction in one day, no problems. As we picked up the set from Costco, the man helping load it on the trailer was not very encouraging. Online feedback ratings were saying several weekends worth of time. Uncle Garrett put one together last summer and it took him just over 4 weekends = YIKES! We only had last weekend because Keith deploys next week. Saturday morning we woke up with purpose!

Despite cordless drill malfunctions and children taking nuts, bolts, screws, and pieces of wood out of bag and piles... we got the play set built in FOURTEEN HOURS - WHOO HOOOO!!! You both love it, and I love watching you play on it. There is a picnic table underneath it and we ate dinner there Sunday night. You have to know how much your father loves you to spend this much money and work that hard on one of his last weekends home.

On the downside - illness struck the McDaniel household. Other than a cold every now and then, we've been lucky to not get sick-sick. We'll our luck ran out. On construction day, the boys were really battling a cold and snot nose. That night, Cole's eyes started looking bad. On Sunday his ears hurt. We were off to the Urgent Care Clinic. Cole had an upper respiratory infection, double ear infection and PINK EYE! Yuck!!!! Brad was displaying the EXACT same symptoms - same upper respiratory infection and pink eye. So, I've been doing all I can to keep daddy and myself from getting pink eye and getting you two better. Brad started pointing to his ears too, so back to the dr. Only his left ear is infected. Not bad I think - it's Cole's second time in his life to have an ear infection and Brad's first. I just wish you didn't have to miss your last week of school because of this pink eye. Tomorrow is the last day and I think you'll be better by then. I certainly hope so!!!

Family Vacation

Our first deployment is coming up, so Keith took some leave and we planned a vacation! Most of the time revolved around Alumni weekend at the Academy, but we tried to add some fun along the way. I spent days trying to figure out the best way to travel down by car so we would hit up all the fun, kid friendly, things there were to do.

Our first night took us to Salt Lake City. Along the way we stopped at Mallard Gorge and had a picnic. We saw the waterfalls in Twin Falls. We got to the hotel and went swimming! The next morning we woke up and went to Hogle Zoo followed by lunch at Fuddruckers. We drove through Moab, Utah. As we stopped there to stretch our legs, the boys discovered millions of caterpillars! They were so amazed. Brad treated them like rubber bands (gross, but not surprising) and Cole had to show him how to pick them up.

We made our way to Grand Junction that night. Keith tried to find an old friend at the local airport there, but he wasn't in that day. We pressed on to Glenwood Springs, Colorado to swim in the Hot Springs. I think we were the youngest people there by about 50 years (no kidding!) I got the impression that all the "blue hairs" were not excited to be sharing the "therapy" pool with two tots. O-well, it was amazing. I hope we get to go back when you understand the concept of a Hot Spring. Then off to Denver. The same day we hit up the aquarium. Lets just say that Brad did not like it there. Honestly, it started off a little scary. It didn't help that Cole started screaming (so copy-cat Brad started screaming) Cole knew that it would be ok and fish are fun, Brad didn't get that memo. That night another hotel with more swimming!

The following morning we were off to Castle Rock for SHOPPING! Ok, this was more of a mommy day, but you got new shoes and clothes. After spending way more than planned (thank you boys for the early Mother's Day present - a new Coach purse.... Cole is a horrible secret keeper) we were off to our land. Brad had a breakdown of all breakdowns on the drive there.... it will forever be known as the breakdown on highway 115. What was that about?

We were able to stay the night at on the land. Keith was pretty upset the fish were dead in the pond, and we didn't have matches for the campfire. He really wanted to make smores for you boys. He tried to make the most of it. Wes and Hilary arrived that night - and brought matches.

Daddy promptly woke up and made the campfire - smores for breakfast. But it had to be quick, because it started SNOWING! Crazy snow in May! A brief pit stop in Pueblo, CO at the Air Museum and we all headed to the Academy. The grounds were covered in the snow earlier that day. The Zindels got there that night, and we hit up Wal-Mart for groceries.

Friday was crazy. The soccer alumni met at the indoor field (because of the snow on the ground) and Brad promptly started throwing up. We were forced to leave early after I used everything I had to wipe up the 5 times of puke. We headed off to the clinic on base where the not-so-keen Dr. asked me if "he's complained about his sinuses or congestion". I would have paid $100 if he could have got Brad to say the word sinus. My mommy gut still thinks it was Altitude Sickness, but everyone kept telling me virus. So, for the rest of the weekend we were banned to the room. I missed watching Daddy play soccer, and the family dinner on Saturday night.... in an effort to keep Brad contained. With the medicine, you were feeling much better by Sunday. We had dinner at the DeBoalts house.

Monday morning we headed home. It was a super long drive - about 14 hours in the car. Not advisable and really didn't pep me up for the drive to Texas this summer. Anyway, it was a great trip. We asked Cole what his favorite part was........

The lobsters he saw in the tank at Wal-Mart! No kidding! Second favorite were the caterpillars we found on the side of the road leg stretch. So, it just goes to show you what kids find important and memorable vs. what the parents plan and worry over. When will we ever learn?

One last day at home. Routines start up again in the morning, Daddy back to work, Cole back to school. Someone asked me when Keith leaves and I had to respond with "a couple of weeks" <> It was a nice break from the looming separation while it lasted.

Life Goes On

A little back story - Cole loves to watch dirt bike races. We will pull up tricks and races on Youtube for him to watch. He always says he wants to do that, and my standard response is "sure! - right after my funeral" I never thought he understood what that meant. Until Tuesday....

Cole - Daddy, where's mommy?
Keith - At a meeting
Cole - Will she be back?
Keith (kidding) - Um, I don't think so
Cole slurps on his milkshake - fun dad, huh? - and is quiet for a few seconds...

Cole - I'm going to get a dirt bike now that I don't have a mommy!

In his seconds of pure grief, I hope he wasn't also picking out the bike color... life goes on.

Dad's Chance

We got a call from the soccer coach and she can't make practice. Coach Jennifer wanted to know if your dad would run the show. I immediately answered for him - YES. I don't know if he secretly loved it or not, but I know that Cole had a fun time.

Cole also has been saying some crazy things to show off his memory of steel. We were looking at a farm book and it had a picture of a barn full of cows hooked up to mechanical milkers. I explained to Cole that they are machines to milk all of the cows at the same time. He said, "No, sometimes you can use your hands like this.... remember like Cara and I did on the fake cow at the fair." I was SHOCKED that he remembered that. In fact it took me a second to remember what he was talking about. But sure enough, he was right.

When Keith was getting him ready for soccer, he said "Dad remember when you were little playing soccer and your hurt your hip?" Now, this happened before Keith and I even met, and the story was only told to him once when Grandpa Greg came to visit. Cole continued, "you hurt your hip, your illa cress." Completely true, Dad had an injury to his lilac crest.

This past game, you were the MVP for the other team! You scored their only 2 goals and took out Ryan 6 times as he had a shot on goal. It's all about fun, and you had a blast. Way to go baby, TWO GOALS!!!