Locker Room Living

I feel like I live in a men's locker room. Not that I've been in one to find out, but I could only imagine this kind of behavior goes on in there.

Cole - Last night at dinner he decided he would only swallow his food whole instead of chewing. Want to know why? That way his food would come out whole and he wouldn't have to wipe. He's tired of all that poop getting smeared all around. Can someone please pass the carrots?

Brad - Is on a mad hunt for budding "man hair". I can't keep pants on the kid. Right now they are drawing pictures. He's doing self portraits of himself complete with a "johnson" Yes, my children know all the slang for their genitalia.

They only think girls have "girl penises". I've told them several times the proper terms and still "girl penis" sticks around. So help me. Is this normal? Does anyone else talk about other events at dinner? Do man hair checks start at the age of 3? I feel a need to hide all the rulers in the house.