He's Gone

This morning at 2:30am we dropped Keith off. He flew out around 5 am for "base X". We knew this day was coming, but it snuck up on us. So with a heavy heart I sit here alone. The boys should be napping, but they aren't. It's suppose to be sunny outside, but it's not. And a daddy should be with his family, but he can't.

I think we prepared the boys as much as possible. We got them daddy-dolls. They are little 12 inch dolls of Keith for the boys to carry around, hug on, and take to events that he physically will miss. We recorded Keith reading books on video. We've talked about it, and made plans to keep us busy.

We said our goodbyes at home and took Keith to the base at o'dark-thrity. We part ways and left in tears. As I drove away Cole exclaims "Mom, we forgot to say a prayer all together". I did. I dropped the ball. I was able to text Keith and he came back out to the car for a family prayer. I tell you what, it was much easier driving off the second time. I won't ever miss another opportunity for a family prayer again. Sometimes God uses that little 4 year old to speak to me in big ways. This morning was one of them.

Reality set in when Brad woke up crying. It seems he dropped his daddy doll over the crib railing and couldn't reach it. I picked it up for him and he just held it. We came downstairs and he looked all over saying "where daddy go?". I'm sure I will face many more moments where the boys are so lonely for their daddy. I don't know if I will be able to be the supportive reassuring mommy or the one who just sits and cries with them. Maybe a little of both. We'll find a balance.

We went to church this morning. Everyone is so supportive and loving. I was offered help, lawn mowing, girl time, babysitting, and most importantly prayers. Today they combined services. Calvary Chapel was PACKED! I've felt like we've been a congregation of 50, but today when there were well over 100 people there - well it just felt full. They are done with the playground outside. It looks really nice. I think there were 25 kids on there at the same time. I didn't even know there we that many children in the church! They made plant boxes to attach the fencing too and added lots of patio chairs and tables so we can sit and watch the kids. It's amazing how much the church has changed in just the 10 months we've been there. Now that we are moving MOPS to Calvary Chapel, I can't wait to see where this takes us! Just when I got use to the tiny church, they explode. But that's a good thing.

I will have to give the June line-up another time. I should take a nap. Enjoy Hawaii Honey. I can't wait to see it with you one day.