Brass Monkey

Keith took leave this week and we made a family road trip down to Busan. It also happened to be our 8th Wedding Anniversary. To celebrate this occasion Keith bought himself a new camera lens and I headed to the spa. See, still in love after all these years.

I treated myself to a 3 hour Thai massage. Sounds perfectly wonderful and relaxing doesn't it? That's what I thought. Let me tell you - this little man was out to kill me.

We used the spa in the hotel. Keith took the boys up for a movie and bed and I headed to my relaxing evening semi-alone. They escorted me to the dressing room where I changed into a very large tshirt and shorts down to my knees. Interesting. Next I was led to a different room for a foot bath and mint tea. Not bad... the night was starting off well! Then I walked into a small dark room with a thin mat on the floor. Different, but I'm going with it.

The small Korean man started with my feet. He crossed them on top of each other and proceeded to STAND on me. Hummm.... it was kinda like a stretch and didn't hurt too bad. He started working on the rest of my legs and toes with what felt like brass knuckles. He had the world's strongest thumbs that he pressed full force into my muscles as he climbed all over and around me. He pressed so hard it felt like he was hitting my nerve making my whole legs go numb. It was quick and then he would move on. As he worked his way up to my knees I was convinced that he was trying to separate my muscles from my bones. At times I couldn't decide if it was downright painful or felt good. Then he spoke the only word of English he knew.... "stretchy". That's when he crawled between my legs, turned around and pulled my toes so far back I winced in pain. It was like a force Yoga class. Unbeknownst to me, Thai massage is all about stretching and pressure points. This makes sense as he tried to pull my leg up and over my head. He really was going to town with my legs. It wasn't too bad, but I was just hoping he would take the same kind of force out on my back. Did he ever! There were only a few moments of pain that I fought through. I realize this sounds utterly ridiculous as I type it out. I paid for and accepted this form of torcher for 3 hours! He worked several hard pressure points/tearing muscle off of bone then back to stretchy. Over and over again working the back, arms, neck and scalp.

As I laid there I kept thinking:
*Keith would have killed this man during the shoulder stretches
*Anyone with a bad knee would have blown it with that odd pose
*I hope I make it back to the room to explain the temporal brain swelling to Keith before I pass out
*So help me if he pops something standing on my back while I'm stuck out here in Korea
*Which one of my friends would find this enjoyable
*If he moves his hand one more inch over, I'm going to have to punch him and leave

Despite only a few bruises the next day - I felt GREAT! Would I do the Thai massage again? Yes. See... brain damage! Happy Anniversary Keith. Thank you for being my best friend for over half of my life. I love you forever.