Side Show to Go

I would like to think that I'm a pretty good multi-tasker. I feel like I can veer off schedule and juggle more than one thing at a time. I am not the best at organization, but I think I can take a hefty load of craziness before I call it quits.

However, nothing brings those thoughts to a grinding halt faster than a trip to the Veterinarian's Office. I loath the idea of taking 2 untrained dumb dogs on leashes with a cat in a crate followed by two children who refuse to listen. I would seriously almost do anything else in the entire world before torchering myself in that manner. But, it has to be done, and some how falls under the job description of mom.

I turn into a 3 ring circus. I feel like the crazy lady freak-show as people watch me trip over dogs while ushering children through the door carrying a cat. There aren't enough arms, there isn't enough patience.

It never fails that the boys immediately drop to their hands and knees to goof around. It grosses me out. I get crazy angry when I see 60 different kinds of pet hair on their pants.... and hands. They refuse to sit in the waiting room chairs like the children of my dreams. Mickey and Merlin drive me crazy before we even pull out of the driveway. Merlin starts whining. Mickey starts panthering and his horrible horrible breath fills my car with a stink so thick you can actually feel the germs when you inhale. Mickey and Merlin also have a wonderfull habit of taking SEVERAL large dumps when they get nervous. This usually happens once we are INSIDE the waiting room - on the floor my children are attracted to like magnets. So I feel like I should clean it, while tending to leashes and boys.

Our appointment today was during Brad's naptime... why do I do this to myself?! He was crabby and wanted to be held. Sure baby, let me grab my purse, two leashes and the cat crate too. What's that? You left two of your toys on the floor under the chairs? Let me stop to grab them first. They are nasty and covered in hair.

The dogs are so uncooperative on a leash. I literally have to drag them on the slick floors because they don't want to follow me. They twist around the chair legs, my legs, and the boys. I spend more time untangling them than it's worth. Cole and Brad don't listen and run up and startle all the other dogs. I know one day they will get bit. Again in the exam rooms the boys like to crawl under the tables, open the drawers, stand behind the door that could open any moment. I have to talk and listen to the Dr and the techs - impossible over my children screaming and fighting (dog whimpering and panthering in the background as well)

Then this experience costs me an arm and a leg. I love the check out process just as much. The boys get excited that it's time to leave..... almost. First I have to set everything down to dig out my wallet, then to sign. Dogs running around, kids running around. It take two trips to load the car.

I'm pretty sure I HATE going to the vet. I know that I can not possibly handle another creature/child on one of these adventures. Sometimes I wish Keith could experience all this fun. He's never had this pleasure. I know for a fact that Keith would not have returned with the car full he left with.

So, we are all spared another vet trip for at least another year. On a side note: the cat was perfect today. The only hassle was carrying her crate. She was quiet and quick. She didn't stink or make a mess. Marty cat wasn't a problem at all. I'm pretty sure it was just because she's female.